What We Used To Do

He allowed me to know that the sex had become a distraction.  He had made a decision to revoke the benefits and relegate us to just being friends. All we were to do was study.
“It’s only gonna be the books and reasoning. We need to focus” 
“But I want everything with you”
“Suppose I don’t want to give you that anymore….then what?”
“I will have to respect that. What else can I do?”
I didn’t want the sex to consume the relationship, but I didn’t want to fight against it either. My spirit had been my guide yet I couldn’t overstand why he was doing this, but I accepted it without any real fight.
“So you don’t want me anymore?”
“I think we should leave it alone”
“Ok I respect that. I apologize for crossing that line”
“Trust me, it’s great and I really don’t want it to stop, but I know I should. You don’t need to apologize. It was great.  I loved it and I have no regrets”
“Please don’t…” 
When all the passion dies
yet the love remains to exist.
A sweet and tender hug
replaces a sensual kiss.
Nights of eroticism
have all come to an end.
But the death of a lover
gave birth to a friend.
I’ll cherish our intimate memories,
though we won’t create any more.
A new direction in our journey,
very different than before.
It shall no longer be the same.
We have no need to pretend
because the death of a lover
gave birth to a friend.
I tried to settle into this new dynamic but it was very difficult. I craved him in the worst way. I just wanted to feel his energy. I wanted to feel him. I missed him so much.
For 5 months it lasted, then we were back doing what we used to do until he did it to me again…….

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Sesheta Khepra Written by:

Sesheta Khepra’s purpose is to be a vessel, a healer for her family/village/community. She wants to share the lessons she has learned as she continues to grow. She tries to administer healing words with love. She uses her writing to encourage people to be their most authentic self, to heal herself and others. Her goal is to influence, to inspire her circle to be open and connect. She contributes by sharing the most intimate parts of herself; by being vulnerable and transparent. She offers herself as service to those around her. When she has a peak experience she is appreciative, reverential, connected, available and in the moment. She is balanced and peaceful. Her heroines are Queen Afua and Oprah Winfrey. In a best friend she looks for sincerity, sense of humor, someone with the ability to hold her accountable and provide her guidance. She feels her unique skill is using words and sounds to make people feel deeply. Her best qualities in personal relationships are forgiveness, patience and tenderness.

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