He allowed me to know that the sex had become a distraction. He had made a decision to revoke the benefits and relegate us to just being friends. All we were to do was study.
“It’s only gonna be the books and reasoning. We need to focus”
“But I want everything with you”
“Suppose I don’t want to give you that anymore….then what?”
“I will have to respect that. What else can I do?”
I didn’t want the sex to consume the relationship, but I didn’t want to fight against it either. My spirit had been my guide yet I couldn’t overstand why he was doing this, but I accepted it without any real fight.
“So you don’t want me anymore?”
“I think we should leave it alone”
“Ok I respect that. I apologize for crossing that line”
“Trust me, it’s great and I really don’t want it to stop, but I know I should. You don’t need to apologize. It was great. I loved it and I have no regrets”
“Please don’t…”
BIRTH OF A FRIEND
When all the passion dies
yet the love remains to exist.
A sweet and tender hug
replaces a sensual kiss.
Nights of eroticism
have all come to an end.
But the death of a lover
gave birth to a friend.
I’ll cherish our intimate memories,
though we won’t create any more.
A new direction in our journey,
very different than before.
It shall no longer be the same.
We have no need to pretend
because the death of a lover
gave birth to a friend.
I tried to settle into this new dynamic but it was very difficult. I craved him in the worst way. I just wanted to feel his energy. I wanted to feel him. I missed him so much.
For 5 months it lasted, then we were back doing what we used to do until he did it to me again…….
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