As I reflect on the journey leading up to this moment, I shall honor all the pain, the hurt and the struggle that got me here. I don’t just celebrate my wins because I am also grateful for what loss teaches me. I have never cried so much as I have cried these past couple of years. But tears cleanse the soul.
I lost my job in 2019 and was in battle with them for a year. I came into this pandemic already unemployed and war ready. I fought long and hard to win it back. I am still fighting to keep my home. I am still fighting to keep my family financially afloat. I am still fighting for love. Some of my relationships and connections didn’t survive. They became casualties even though I fought just as hard for them too, knowing it was long past their expiration date. I did the best I could, but now I am tired and overwhelmed.
To The Men That I Still Love,
I release you and free myself in the spirit of love and forgiveness. I honor the time that once was, but when a relationship is no longer in service to the highest good, it is time to move on. I chose to love you through your darkness and pain despite my own, however, I must now fully committ to pouring into myself, the way I tried to do for you. May you discover peace and balance.
I am determined to continue to fight these battles with dignity and grace. I shall always keep my crown on straight. I will remain poised because I still have to show up and be present for others who need me and hold space for them. I am determined to turn this pain to purpose. I am still committed to LOVE