Source: Metaphysics of The Heart Chakra & Occult Science of Love at First Sight
This lecture resonates with me because the Master Teacher Bobby Hemmitt validated everything I had already pleaded with him to do. I begged him to check his ego, so we could return to spirit as the driving force of our relationship.
“Stop letting your ego drive you that you cannot admit your errors and accept criticism. It’s your ego that causes you to deflect and insult me. I’m not the unstable one…you are. You have been very volatile. Your default is always anger, frustration and lashing out. I am really struggling with all of this. You said we’d start to study again in Spring. We lost sight of that and things went left. We need to let go ego and return to spirit. . I want to move forward, to the next level…”
We could have paid attention to the lesson within the conflict and used it to evolve. Instead, he became so angry that I told him “who he was, what he did and what he needs to do”. He chose to abandon me rather than abandon his ego.
“I feel that growth for me might just be breaking this cycle and leaving you alone. It’s draining and distracting. I dont believe I’m even interested in repairing anything. Some people just arent meant to be close. At this point I realize this is going to be a neverending cycle and distraction for me. I honestly am not interested in repairing anything with you at this point. I wish you success in all you do and hope light leads you on your path. Walk good and be well”
That war between the ego and the soul was a beast we could not kill. I guess he feared vulnerability more than wanted me. A bitter pill to swallow but a lesson learned. I have finally accepted the flashing, neon sign on the locked door he slammed in my face several times that read “No Sesheta Allowed”. In tears, I turned around and walked away. No more fighting to get into his space which wasn’t meant for me. It’s time to move on. My spirit guides will lead me. I trust the path I walk.